Ah infertility... what a beast!

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When you're in the middle of it all, every day feels like the worst day of your life.

 

But for me, seven agonizing infertile years, no children and two rescue dogs later, it turns out the grass can actually be greener on the other side.

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After seven years, we were ready.  Ready for the treatments and disappointment to stop.  Ready to figure out how we'd pay back all the money we'd spent on IVF, failed adoptions, surgery, embryo adoption and every other failed attempt to have kids.

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Fast forward seven more years.  My husband and I are living our best lives without kids of our own, but with plenty of nieces, nephews, neighbor kids and fur babies.  Does that sound awful?  Back then, it did to me too.   

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Infertility doesn't define you.  But it's easy to drift into feeling helpless and envious of your once super-close friends who have started having kids.  It's infuriating to watch your friends and relatives and colleagues get pregnant without even trying.  And the pity!  Oh boy, that was the worst.   

 

That part of the journey is unavoidable, but here's the upside...  believe it or not, one day you'll actually fist-bump your partner when your friend's kid starts screaming and kicking uncontrollably in the middle of Target.  Now there's a joy you didn't see coming!

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Listen, I know this may sound insensitive if you're in the throes of it all.  I was there.  I KNOW.  I wanted to punch every single person who tried to be encouraging.  My point is that I was emotionally devastated and could not imagine I would ever get through it.

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But I did. And you will too.

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Sometimes it takes failure upon painful failure to get to exactly where you're supposed to be.  And for me, it's with these crazies right here!  I wouldn't trade this life for the world.